The Power of Female Manipulation: How Women Manipulate Men
It’s 2011, Beyoncé releases, “Who runs the world? (Girls)” I’m sitting there wondering, “What the heck is she talking about?” I was young, but I was told countless times men, like me, run the world and are oppressive bastards. How patriarchy was the worst form of -archy to exist, how God is a woman because of the love given to humanity.
The world has changed somewhat since then, or I see the world through fresh eyes (not because I started wearing glasses, mind you). I noticed the different dynamics that came with being a young adult and a man. I also came across feminists or at least noticed their existence more intently. Some of them are toxic, to be perfectly candid. That’s a story for another day though.
All that is fine, but let’s get to the reason I’m seated here drinking coffee and typing away at my computer. Female manipulation. Female manipulation is a tough subject to explore for many reasons. Women and women-centric films have often gotten a bad rap of portraying women as some sort of demonic seductresses bent on seduction. They frequently portrayed women as alluring creatures of seduction. Much like the mythical Sirens, singing men to their deaths!
In my short time here, I’ve seen women regularly manipulating men to get them to do whatever it is they want. I always ask myself, is this just a waste of time for most men? Do we not realize that a woman will use underhanded tactics to get what she wants? Or do we just not care about all that at the moment? Women are masters of subtle manipulation. They know how to lead men around like dogs on a leash without them ever really knowing it.
With that in mind, let’s see how women manipulate men into some form of submission. Here’s how to tell when she’s manipulating you:
1. They will compliment you excessively
Everyone wants to be complimented. It’s always that fussy feeling when someone acknowledges your efforts toward something, a nice mushy feeling that you can never get enough of. There’s a limit to the positivity of this. Some women have mastered the art of using that mushy feeling from compliments to get what they want. Whenever there’s something they want you to do for them, they will give you that feeling using their charms, like, “You know John, nobody does the stats reports better than you. I’ve seen nothing like it.” She’s trying to make you do the stats report for her, John.
2. They use your feelings for her against you
This is a classic manipulation tactic. They bring this up, especially when you refuse to do something for them. Women use this template, or shift just slightly, following the form of if you felt this way, you would do this for me. “Dennis, if you really loved me you would get me that lovely Liverpool jersey.” Don’t fall for this trick, Dennis, stand firm.
3. They guilt-trip you
Guilt-tripping is a genuine issue in relationships these days. And it comes to the fore in so many ways that we can’t cover them all here. But with that said, the bottom line is that they make you feel guilty about something and then use that feeling of guilt you have to get what they wanted. Some women bring up past mistakes you made, or remind you of things they’ve done for you, all this making you feel guilty and caving into their demands.
4. They are passive-aggressive
Closely related to guilt-tripping, passive-aggressive behavior can be a powerful tool in a manipulator’s arsenal. Some women use this technique to get you feeling sorry for them or to get you off their backs when you’re confronting them about something. It’s characterized by sulking and backhanded compliments. But when you ask what the problem is, they say they’re fine, which leads to you feeling sorry for them and offering yourself in ways you normally would not. They also procrastinate doing something earlier agreed upon as resistance until you end up doing it yourself.
5. They cry
I know what you’re thinking, “But women are emotional beings. They cried while watching an insurance ad.” That could as well be true. But I’m talking about an insanely convenient outburst of emotion. It’s those moments during a discussion she’s ‘losing’ and suddenly the waterworks start. What grinds my gears is that they’re teaching it to other women too! Most women use this technique to get whatever they want. Men don’t know how to deal with crying women. We just don’t. We do whatever it takes to get it to stop. See how that works? Good. Women know this, and they use it against us whenever they are out of options. It’s their ace in the hole, if you will. The nuclear option.
6. They give you the ‘silent treatment’
This happens to the best of us. That screening of ‘The Twilight Saga: Eclipse’ you forwent because of that World Cup game of Cameroon v Netherlands you wanted to watch that Friday, and then the long silence you got after notifying her of your plans. Do you remember that? You caved, didn’t you? The silent treatment is basically when the person does not talk to you, and when you talk to them, they don’t respond. Annoying! Women use this manipulation technique to get you to accept a request they made before their silence, and you do whatever they want just to have normal human interaction. Nobody enjoys being ignored, and that’s why it works.
7. They give ultimatums
“If you don’t take me to Mt. Kilimanjaro, I’ll leave you.” Such ultimatums are just manipulative tactics used to put someone in a very uncomfortable position they end up doing exactly what the manipulator wants. Some women go ballistic with this tactic, and it’s usually emotionally manipulative ultimatums. “If you don’t send the money to my mom, I’ll take the kids and leave you. You will never see us again.” That’s a hard spot to wiggle out off, and that leaves little choice but to give in to the “terrorist’s” demands.
8. They use sex
Women so much use this, it baffles me how men haven’t caught up yet. People can make courses out of this tactic, and write books, and even make a few movies too! Anyway, there are two ways this shows itself. One is when a woman withholds sex until you do what they asked you to do. The dry spell hits you hard, you end up doing it anyway. The other way it comes out is through teasing, subtle cues of the ‘reward’ of sex once a task is done. You know those shorts you like, or that skimpy nightdress she got last Christmas? Those are her weapons against you in these situations. She’ll wear these and be like, “Honey, please do the dishes and then come join me in bed.” What your brain registered, “Honey, do the dishes and then come do me.”
Knowing about how manipulation looks like and being on the lookout for the signs in any relationship you’re in is crucial for your wellbeing, as manipulation has dire consequences for the one being manipulated. But knowing is one step in curbing manipulation in your life. It’s important to call out these behaviors early in any engagement.
A few things to do while dealing with manipulation:
· Set clear and healthy boundaries. These will keep you from dancing to the manipulator’s tune and it also spells out consequences if these boundaries are crossed.
· Take time to think before making a decision. Being pressured into answering can lead to deciding something you normally would not agree to. Time out is crucial to avoid this and reduce chances of being coerced into doing something you don’t want to.
· Learn to say ‘NO’ firmly but also diplomatically. This ensures you communicate your desire not to engage while maintaining a workable relationship.
· And if all else fails, then it’s best to remember the chorus from Clash’s song, “Should I stay or Should I Go?” I suggest you maintain your distance from them.
We’ve all been in situations where we’re left holding the short end of the stick due to manipulators using some assortment of tactics to get their way. I hope that this opens our eyes and our minds to the world and gives us some awareness of what being manipulated looks like and ways to cope with the same.
